i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
