I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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