Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
