Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
