ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
