Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Damn victory sex feels great
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
