yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
