That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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