he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
