You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
