sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
