It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
