Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
