yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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