i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
