no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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