i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
