She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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