She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
