I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
