just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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