That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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