evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
