I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
