and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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