Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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