Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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