youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
