We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
