is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Fuck appropriateness.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
