Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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