That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
