its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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