I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
