is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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