I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
