SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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