it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Blood and glitter go together right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
