I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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