The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
