I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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