sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
