i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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