I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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