Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
