What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
