just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
