I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
