I don't usually arrange sex via text message
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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