I just gift wrapped bread.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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