Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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